| ::EDITED::
deleted the old entry. to clear things up:
alotta shit happened--it sucked but i fixed
it all which is such great news. actually it looks
like everythings looking up again..i miss so many
of you guys, we have to make plans. oh and if anybody wants to know what happened
just ask and i guesse ill tell you. its not the type of
thing i wanna post on xanga though lol. love you all.
[<3] |
| |
| its been awhile. life surprisingly is still good.
been doing alot of thinking lately. and im really
quite proud of myself. you might not understand
this, not unless your someone like niel or krispy,
but ive done alot--and not done alot--that i should
and shouldnt have done. and im proud for not
being as dumb as i was. and even though many
decisions ive made have hurt many people, im glad
i made them. they made me who i am.
so thanks to all the people ive hurt, to all the people
that have hurt me, and to all the people who have
pulled me up from hell. i owe you everything. <3 |
| |
| so im at miss krispys againnnnnnn iloveher
amazing times. lolz. you know you know.
i just realilzed i never mentioned soem good
things going on right now. im dating matty.
mad happy nukka. yeahs. soo. hope everyones aiiight.
-LOVE.YOU- |
| |
| just take me and hide me from the world,
and i promise ill give you my heart.
edit.it
to jason: yu-huh.
also..my madre canceled my phone. entirely.
so if your trying to reach me..sorry. |
| |
| today was a slap in the face. why is it that the minute i forget that human life is so fragile, it proves itself to me again? back in may, when mostly everything was pretty good and i was infinite, he finally let go of this world. today it almost happened again.
something i absolutly despise myself for is the way when there is something horrible happening and everyone elses first instinct is to look away, i am unable to turn my head. i just stare. and memorize. memorize the feeling, the looks. its horrible because iit haunts me later. i can still see their scared faces. i remember the worst, and forget the best. it should be the opposite. but its not.
im letting myself turn into a fucked up ball of shit again. im trying so hard to not to, but life is making it so easy to turn back again. im doing something right this time. im letting people know things. also, im cutting myself off from the people i can hurt terribly.
its better for them. they dont need me pulling them down.
school starts monday. then its back to the normal routine. schoolwork [[which i actually have to do this year]], finding a job, and of course more fixing. not that i mind. as much as it kills me, it saves me. as weird as that is.
thats about it i guess.
--<3Baby.Joo;;
pee;ehhs. special thanks to timothyjamesss.
i know you dont believe me.
but its true dear. |
| |
